Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

136. Finding Balance While Shifting Parenting Patterns

Beth Hillman | Parent Coach for parents of struggling teens & Seth Gottlieb Episode 136

When you're doing the work to grow as a parent, it's common to overcorrect. You recognize a pattern (maybe you tend to be explosive in conflict) so you swing to the opposite end and become overly passive. It feels like progress, but suddenly you're stuck in a new extreme. In this episode, Seth and I explore what we call the "pendulum swing" of behavior and how both parents and teens experience this while trying to make real, lasting change.

Whether it’s yelling one day and withdrawing the next, or setting no boundaries after years of being too rigid, shifting your parenting patterns can feel messy and inconsistent at first. But this swing between extremes isn’t failure, it’s part of the learning curve. Your brain is trying to find the middle ground, and sometimes it needs to experience both ends of the spectrum to settle into balance.

And our struggling children go through this, too. After treatment, they often come home with the intention of doing everything perfectly, only to crash when the reality of being human sets in. Helping them, and yourself, navigate that swing with compassion is key.

If you’re working to shift your parenting patterns and feel stuck between extremes, join us in this conversation as we help you find your footing in the middle.

In this episode on finding balance while shifting parenting patterns, we cover:

  • What the “pendulum swing” looks like in parenting and teen behavior;
  • Why we often shift from one extreme to the other when trying to change;
  • The emotional discomfort that fuels reactive patterns;
  • How to find a middle ground that supports growth and connection in parenting;
  • Why unrealistic expectations (for you or your teen) can lead to disappointment;
  • And more!


Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

People on this episode