Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

176. Teen Substance Abuse and Relapse: Grieving the Life You Thought They’d Have With Paul King

Beth Hillman | Parent Coach for Parents of Struggling Teens & Paul King Episode 176

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Starting January 13th -- Early Bird price until December 31st!

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There’s a kind of grief many parents of struggling teens carry that doesn’t always get named.

It’s not just the fear.
It’s not just the exhaustion.
It’s the quiet heartbreak of realizing that the life you once imagined for your child may never unfold the way you thought it would.

In this episode, I’m joined by Paul King, a father with lived experience navigating teen substance abuse and relapse. Paul shares his family’s story from the early warning signs, to trauma, to years of substance use, treatment, and relapse. Together, we talk about anticipatory grief, the ongoing grief parents live with when their child is still alive, still struggling, and still at risk.

We also explore why relapse is part of recovery, why trying to “fix” or control our kids can leave parents burned out and hopeless, and how learning to separate your child from their behavior can change everything. This is a conversation about grief, love, boundaries, and learning how to cope when the path forward looks nothing like what you expected.

If you’re parenting a child impacted by teen substance abuse, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong.

In this episode on teen substance abuse and relapse, we discuss:

  • Paul’s story as a dad living with his daughter’s substance abuse;
  • What anticipatory grief is and why so many parents experience it;
  • Grieving the life you thought your child would have;
  • Why relapse is common, and why it doesn’t mean treatment “failed”;
  • Why “rock bottom” isn’t necessary for recovery;
  • How boundaries and self-care as a parent actually support your teen’s healing;
  • What coping can look like when your child continues to struggle;
  • And much more.


More about Paul King

Paul is a calm, kind communicator studying a Diploma of Counselling. Across his working life he has chosen people‑centred roles: running his own homeopathy clinic, supporting students and community members in education, producing stories with care in media and training, and now hosting a podcast and volunteering on the Family Drug Support helpline.

Learn more about Paul’s work on https://familyhopesupport.com/ or listen to his podcast ‘Family Support In Addiction Recovery’.


Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com


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✨ 6-week Boundaries Masterclass ✨

Starting January 13th -- Early Bird price until December 31st!

👉🏼 Click here to sign up, or go to bethhillmancoaching.com/boundariesmasterclass

I hope to see you there!